I have had a run lately on babies that are addicted to using the dummy to go to sleep and to go back to sleep when they wake overnight.
The dummy can be a great tool when a baby is really young – say from about 2 weeks. It is great to help a baby settle well after a feed and to go back to sleep if they are a catnapper during the day.
When a baby is young the baby uses the dummy to calm themselves down enough to be able to go off to sleep. Then once they are really asleep they spit the dummy out and continue to sleep on.
However around four or five months of age this all changes and the baby becomes dependent on the dummy and the sucking to help them stay asleep as they transition between sleep cycles.
If they come out of a cycle and the dummy is not in their mouth they will cry as they now feel they need the dummy, and really the sucking, to go back to sleep. Mark was nine months and waking up to eight times a night. His exhausted parents were getting up to put the dummy back in his mouth at most of these wake times but once a night they werefeeding him but he was never really interested in the milk only taking enough to just get himself back to sleep.
The day sleeps were not so good either with Mark really only sleeping 45 minutes at each sleep.
When I visited Mark and his parents everyone was a bit anxious and everyone was a lot sleep deprived. When I put Mark down at 7pm he was confused as he didn’t get his dummy and so heexpressed this by crying. I stayed with him the whole time and it took about 20 minutes to get him off to sleep – the first time he had ever gone to sleep without the dummy.
Surprisingly he then slept for longer than he had ever slept before without waking – four hours! After this long sleep he had plenty of energy and so getting him back to sleep this time took a bit longer.
He really wanted that dummy and made sucking noises with his lips like he was trying to suck something. Every now and then he would calm and almost be asleep, at this time he would attempt to suck and realise there was no dummy. He wasn’t happy about that so he continued to cry.
It took some doing but after about 90 minutes Mark finally and calmly went back to sleep. He then slept till about 4am, took 10 minutes to settle and was up for the day at 6.45am. His mum told me when I got back there the following night that his day sleeps had been great and he had slept longer than one sleep cycle for each sleep. Although it had taken a bit longer for him to go off to sleep initially, once he was asleep, he slept soundly.
The second night was much better, he woke a couple more times than the first night but settled each time in less than 10 minutes.
The third night he slept through.
His parents couldn’t believe how quickly he got over the dummy and the night feeding. He hasn’t looked back and has slept well, both day and night since.
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Will it be that easy for a 16 month old little girl with a big attitude? I am scared to give it a go, but would value your opinion. Thanks in advance.
Hi Jules, It might take a bit longer OR it might actually be easier if your baby is older. I actually find in most cases it is easier because they can understand a bit more, you can say to her "no more dummy" and I would suggest giving her a comforter of some sort to cuddle with at night.
I find often that it is the fear from the parents that is preventing you from getting rid of it. You will, more-than-likely, be pleasantly surprised that it is a lot less painful than you imagined. Jo
Thank you so much Jo. I value your advice and will give it a go! Thank you for getting back to me so promptly.
Hi Jo - I am planning on getting rid of the dummy in a few weeks when my bub is 4 months old as suggested by your book - as she keeps waking up from her day sleeps when it falls out. I was just wondering if it is ok to encourage her to suck her fingers / hands instead of the dummy? She already does this anyway and I have to take her fingers out and put the dummy in most of the time. I just don't want to replace one 'bad' habit with another one. Thanks in advance! Julia
Hi Julia, I am sure many dentists would disagree with me, but I don't mind babies sucking their hands or fingers as it is so much easier for them to find than a dummy. Most children grow out of sucking fingers/thumbs at some stage so I wouldn't be too worried about it. Jo
Will have to give this a try Jo. My almost-9-month-old is waking anywhere from 5 to 10 times a night. Sometimes the dummy gets her back to sleep but 2 or 3 times a night I have to feed her for her to settle back to sleep. I have gotten rid of the dummy once before with a lot of perserverence but reintroduced it as she was teething and has also been diagnosed with reflux which she is now on medication for. I just don't know if I have the energy to do it again!
She is still wrapped at the moment when sleeping and I wonder if she is ready to sleep unwrapped. As she can stand up in her cot now I can't imagine trying to get her to sleep unwrapped. Do you have any suggestions?
Hi Kirrin, I do think it is time to stop rapping your baby. Babies need to be able to move around the cot to find the most comfortable sleeping position for them. They also move a lot when dreaming and if they can't they just wake right up. I would also get rid of the dummy as this may also be contributing to her night-waking. It will be a tough few nights but stay with her and pat her back to sleep every time she wakes. Good luck! Jo
My 6 month old sleeps quite well at night (7am - 5.30/6am without dummy), however sleeps for about 40 minutes during the day, if I give him the dummy he usually falls asleep for another hour or so. How can i help him sleep longer than 40 minutes during the day without the use of a dummy? I have tried letting him cry it out, he will fall asleep but then wakes after about 10 minutes.
I am also still wrapping him to sleep and unsure as to how to wean him off, i tried one arm out and he was really distressed.
Your help is much appreciated.
Thank you
Hi Sophie, I would think that he definitely needs to come out of the wrap at his age. Just put him in a sleeping bag and you might need to pat him off to sleep for the first couple of days but then wean that back so he is doing more putting himself to sleep than you are.
With the dummy, why don't you try giving him something to cuddle up to, that he can perhaps suck the corner of, like a small blanket or a small soft toy. I would also just pat him back to sleep for a couple of days rather than let him cry it out - that might be why he is waking so soon after going back to sleep. Good luck! Jo
hi there, my 3 1/2 month old will not sleep past 40minutes during the day. she will sleep with or without a dummy but once she wakes up she screams and screams until it is almost time to feed again. i don't follow a strict routine, i feed on demand (breastfed) and put her down when she displays tired signs. she also wakes 3-4 hourly during the night and if i don't feed her she'll just cry or ask for a dummy.. i don't like to let her cry at night as she wakes my 3 year old. any suggestions would be great.
thanks
Hi Misty, I owuld try and have more of a routine so you know she is getting a big feed rather than just snacking. If she snacks she might not be able to sleep for very long as she will be hungry sooner than if she had a big feed. She should also be up for at least 90 minutes at a time. Jo
Hi there! Just wanted to leave this message of support to those with dummy, wrapping and night feeding dependancies!! Reading these stories brings it all back, word for word. My son Bob had all three in a big big way so with the very special help and encouragement of Emily and Jo, we fixed Bob right up!! Follow their advice on this as it really worked and now our household is back on track. It takes some work but it is SO WORTH IT!!! xxxx
Hi Jo,
I have been following your technique almost 100%. That is, Jackson who has just turned 5 months, after being wrapped & with dummy can put himself sleep with a bit of patting. However occasionally I am now finding the he can get out of his wrap and/or prefers to talk in the middle of his sleeps. Once rewrapped or once his dummy is popped back in, he falls back asleep.
I thought to go “cold turkey” with both the dummy & his wrap. No amount of patting or rocking in his bed seems to calm him. How long would you expect him to cry for especially the first couple of attempts? How long can I let him cry for? Will all this throw his previous goods sleep patterns out the window?
Note he is already in a sleeping bag. I wrap him in this to help with the transition.
I am not enjoying watching him cry
Please help
Millie
Hi Millie,
He is too old to be wrapped now and I would also consider getting rid of the dummy too. He might cry and be awake for a long time - and that can be over an hour, not usually crying that whole time - but he will always go back to sleep eventually, you really just have to see it through. Once you have got through one night the next one will be much easier.
If you would like more help please email us through the website and we can book you in for a Babybliss service. Jo
Jo, I plead guilty to taking the easy option with my daughter but she is 11 months old and is wrapped, has a dummy and has a bit of honey on her dummy for her to keep hold of it. I know it is awful and even worse now she has cut a tooth. She broke herself of the wrap for a few months but now that she is standing, we couldnt keep her down long enough to fall asleep. I really want to break her of all of these habits but do not know where to start or even how to go about it. I would really appreciate any help that you could give me.
Hi Jess, well I would really start with stopping that honey on the dummy trick. Not good for her little teeth at all, not to mentioned developing a love of sweet things! And yes, she needs to first get rid of that wrap. It is a process Jess so I would recommend either getting my book, Babybliss, or contacting us for some help. We can do a phone consult or even come and do three nights for you to help break those habits. Contact us through the contacts page on the website if you want to do that. Jo
Hi Jo,
My little boy is 5 months old and was dependant on his dummy to go off to sleep and during the day to go back to sleep. Also at night we were getting up and down quick a bit to replace his dummy. So we gave it a go without the dummy and stopped wrapping him at the same time.
He wasn't happy to start with but now he is happy to go off to sleep without it. At night he is waking only once but resettling himself within a couple of minutes. But during the day I can't get him to sleep any longer than 40 minutes. If I do resettle him he may only sleep for another 10 minutes! Not sure if I should let him cry it out or try to settle him somehow?
Or is it just that he may be teething?
Thanks is advance! I am looking forward to some help
Jenna
Hi Jenna, well done on getting rid of the dummy and the wrap! Unfortunately the day sleeps can go pear-shaped a bit when you do that but I would recommend resettling him by patting him back to sleep when he wakes. If you can't do both sleeps then really work on the middle of the day sleep. I wouldn't let him cry it out, he needs help. If he wakes after 10 mins go back in and pat him again. He might keep waking for another 20 to 40 minutes but then he should drop into his deep sleep. Good luck! Jo
Thanks Jo, I have been trying this and haven't really noticed any improvement yet. But I will keep at it. He has cut two teeth in the last week so I am assuming some of his unsettledness relates to this. Thanks again, Jenna
Hi Jo, I have a 5 1/2 month old who is still wrapped and has a dummy to go to sleep. During the day we only get the 45 minute sleeps and giving her back the dummy doesn't resettle her. During the night though she sleeps through 90% of the time from 10pm - 5am (is usually unsettled during the evening). I wrap her fairly firmly because she always tries to get her dummy out and put her fingers in but won't fall asleep like this. Getting into a good routine has been tricky with having to do preschool/school runs so consistency is difficult. Is it worth trying to wean the dummy now in the hope of good day sleeps or just be thankful that she sleeps well during the night??? Thanks.
Hi Karen, yes, it might be a god idea to get rid of the dummy now rather than wait. I would also really consider getting her out of that wrap. She really needs to be able to move around in her cot and get comfy. She might then find her fingers and be able to self-soothe that way. Much better than a dummy! Jo
Hi Jo ...
I have a 8.5month old son who has always been a great sleeper with a dummy during the day and nite .... but the past 4 days he has been waking up during the nite stirring and then crying .... I get up put the dummy back in his mouth and he goes to sleep ...why is this happening now ??? and the past 8.5months nothing ??? would you suggest getting rid of dummy ??? I did try that once but he cried for ages .... how many nites does it usually last when you go cold turkey .. and what methods do you suggest ...
Kind Regards A tired Mum
Hi Brenda, it is tricky as he is at the age where he could almost find the dummy himself and so put it back in himself. Can you try putting lots of dummies in the cot so he can find at least one when he needs it? YOu could definitely also get rid of it but he will miss it. I would say go cold turkey but give him a comforter of some sort to snuggle up to and maybe suck on, like a piece of muslin or a small soft toy. Good luck! Jo
I have had similar problems with getting my babies out of their wrap, but found they settled quite well if I gave them the wrap to hold in their hand. They would both hold it up to their face and use it like a comforter. It worked a treat. Before I tried this (I was advised to do it at a sleep clinic) they were screaming and vomiting, and it was just like magic. They held their wraps and closed their eyes.
Hi Jo
I have a 4mth old who usually sleeps through the night (with a sleepy feed) but only naps for 35-45mins during the day. She has reflux, we've now taken her off the medication and she's okay but we are still sleeping her on a baby wedge in her cot. I am a little afraid to get rid of the dummy as she is extremely chucky and this can sometimes help her keep it all down. The biggest problem I have with trying to settle her during the day is that she squirms around so much i have trouble keeping up the patting as arms are flying (she hasn't let us wrap them since birth) and she is tossing around.
Thanks
It can be a problem but I would keep using it while her reflux is still upsetting her. Contact us if you would like some more help. Jo
Hi Jo,
I don't wrap my 6.5 month old in the 'traditional' way with hands down by her sides but with one of those zip up sleeping bags that positions her hands next to her ears. Should I stop using this? I've just started to wean her off the dummy and don't want her to replace it with her fingers. Can you please advise. Thanks, Lucy
Sure, it is the right time to get her out of her wrap. Jo
Hi Jo
Our baby is 4 months old and relies on the dummy and wrapping to sleep. We are about to remove these props in an attempt to teach her to go to sleep on her own. She is currently feeding every 3-4 hours throughout the night. Should we keep any night feeds or should she be ready to go through the night without feeding?
Thanks Erin
Hi Erin, your baby is still very young and may still need one or two nights feeds for a while yet. Just work on the dummy and the wrap and the feeds may work themselves out when she is ready. Jo
Hi Jo,
I'm not in quite the same position as the other mums above, but would still appreciate your advice! Our baby is 9 months old and is wrapped in a velcro swaddle wrap to sleep (only from her waist down, so her arms are out) and has a dummy. She sleeps 12 hours a night, plus still has 3 good day sleeps (we stick loosely to your 6-9 month routine, except she goes straight back to bed after her morning bottle-if not, she's cranky all day!)
My question is: Given that she has no problems waking overnight, what age should we get rid of the dummy? I was kind of thinking when she's old enough to understand and we can replace it with a toy or something, but what age do you think she'd be at that point?
Thanks!
Jody
Hi Jody, yes, if there are no sleep problems then it is probably a good idea to either ditch it now or wait till she is able to understand, so I would say around two years of age. Jo
Hi Jo, I have had your book for some time and used the techniques for my now 2 year old daughter. She didn't sleep through until 10 months, when I finally had the courage not to feed her overnight. I have a 7 month old daughter who is also waking for night feeds. SHe sometimes wakes for the dream feed, around 10/10.30pm and then wakes overnight for another feed overnight, any time from 2.30 to 4am. She was born at 37 weeks and was IUGR at 2.6kg and is now 7.2kgs and done lots of catching up. She follows your routine pretty easily, except when doing preschool run etc for older sister, but will add an extra nap in the afternoon if an earlier sleep is cut short. She self settles pretty well. I use the dummy occasionally, but she isn't dependent on it and will put herself to sleep reasonably easily. The problem is when i try not to feed her overnight she is upset and unsettled for up to 2 hours. sooooo, my question is - does she still need overnight feeds? Oh, eating really well and on 3 meals a day. Thanks you! Katie
Hi Katie, I would say at her weight and age I would be happy to drop one of those night feeds and only feed her in the early hours of the morning, anytime after about 4am.
Good luck with the settling and concact us if you need some extra help. Jo
Hi Jo
My daughter is 5 months and breastfed and from 8 weeks slept from her night feed at 10pm until around 6am. However she's been waking up almost every hour for the last 3 weeks since we stopped wrapping her - but she still uses a dummy to get to sleep. When I pop her dummy back in her mouth she goes straight back to sleep. I was advised by a health professional that she is probably hungry and I should start weaning her. However she doesn't seem hungry as she usually wakes sometime after 6am and she's content to play until I feed her around 7am. Why do you think she's started waking up? How can I wean her off the dummy without hysterical crying, I tried patting her on her chest once but she cried for an hour so I gave her dummy back. I'm so tired I don't know I have the patience to persevere.
Thanks Rebecca
Hi Rebecca, yes it does sound like it is the dummy causing most of the waking. You can definitely teach her to sleep without the dummy and without using controlled crying. With the patting you need to roll her onto her side and pat her firmly on her nappy. If you are finding it difficult we can come and help you or give you advice over the phone. So please contact us through the website for more advice and support. Jo
Hi Jo,
im another mum with a baby who is addicted to the dummy. She will be 6 months at the end of the month at which time i hope to get her out of the wrap and get rid of the dummy at the same time - we have many nights where we get up many times to put the dummy back in and then others when she only wakes to feed. My question is at what age/stage do babies no longer require being fed at night? Last night i fed at 11am and 4am (i tried to resettle her but she was hysterically crying and took the breastfeed at both times with great gusto). She is only little, just weighing over 6kg at 5 months. thanks in advance for your advice!
Hi Donna, overnight feeding can go on for a little while - well early morning feeding. Especially as she is little and once she is on full solids then you could try and drop the 11pm feed and push her out till the early morning. Jo
Hi Jo,
I have fairly poor sleeping 6 month old. I have been following your book for a couple of months now but have just decided to stop the wrapping and dummy last week. She is fine being out of the wrap now but i have not been strong with the dummy as it the only fail safe method to resettle her at night. She normally wakes for a feed about 10 or 11 and then I try to resettle her to get through to 6...she wakes a few times and I do try to pat her back to sleep but it never works - day or night. Are there any other methods to resettle besides patting? Sometimes it takes up to 1.5 hrs to resettle overnight. During the day her sleep is very eratic - anywhere from 45 minutes to 1.5 hrs...and resettling is impossible if she wakes early...any advice?! My other concern is that she is only 5.7kg at 6 months - is she too small to expect to get through the night?
Thanks
Kate
Hi Kate, she is a bit little to expect for her to sleep all night without a feed but you could perhaps drop her down to one feed if she was on solids.
The patting is usually very effective but it is the way you pat that is the key. It needs to be a real push-pat to work effectively. Please contact me through the contact page to organise some more advise. Jo
My little boy is almost 10 months old and sleeps through most nights 7pm until 7am. My question is about the dummy and moving house. We're moving in the next 6 weeks or so. Is it better to get rid of the dummy before or after the move?
Also he seems to be dropping a day sleep (from 2 to 1); is he too young to do this and is there a way I can encourage him to keep sleeping more during the day? he's only averaging about 13.5 hours sleep in any 24 hour period...it doesn't seem like a lot...
I would wait till after you get there as he might need his comforter (the dummy) to help with the change. DOing it close to the move and then having him deal with the move might be a bit much for him all at once.
He is a bit young to drop down to one sleep. A nap of 30 minutes in the morning is fine and then a bigger nap in the afternoon should be enough for him. Jo
Hi Jo,
Our little 9 week old has been catnapping for about the past 2 weeks during the daytime. I was following your advice in your book about resettling and it sometimes works, but more often she wakes within 5-10 minutes of leaving the room. Should I be then trying to resettle again? And if so how many times do you keep this up, as sometimes I've been back in the room 5 times over the hour or so. Does this mean she wasn't asleep to begin with (she looks peaceful with closed eyes and calm breathing). We're using a dummy, planning to get rid of it at 4 months as you suggest.
In your book you comment that it can take a couple of weeks to get them out of the catnapping stage with your re-settling technique, but is this the case with dummy users or will I always need to re-settle her with it as she can't find it herself, if so should I get rid of the dummy sooner than 4 months?
Many thanks
Yes, you need to keep going in until she drops into her deep sleep which can take about 20 to 30 minutes after she initially falls back to sleep.
The dummy doesn't take so long to get rid of, usually about three days and nights. Jo
Hi Jo,
I have a five and half month old who started to wake up between night feeds about a month ago. He was using a dummy to get to sleep so I was just putting the dummy back in. Now I am very sleep deprived so trying to get rid of it. I am trying to use the babybliss settling technique but when he becomes calm he just starts to play with my hand that is on his shoulder, if I take the arm away he continues to just play in his cot, rolling over and playing with the bars and the sheets. So then I leave the room and the crying starts, I come back in and the playing starts. This can go on for up to 2 hours and during the night, at which stage I end up picking him up and rocking him off to sleep. On the other extreme if he is over tired the patting makes him more distressed and he continues to grab my hand or slap my arm winding himself up more and more. He is BF and still wakes up for two night feeds around 11 and 4am, but will also wake up around every 1.5 to 2 hours after midnight. I have been given lots of different advice about settling and I guess keep trying different things. I am so confused so I'm thinking my baby must be even more confused!
You need to roll him on his side facing away from you so he can't see you or play with your hands. If he is playing then leave him to it. Wait till he starts to complain then go back in and settle him. The problem is you are ending up by picking him up and so that is what he is waiting for. You need to keep settling him in his cot till he goes to sleep - which might take 2 hours - but once you get through that night it will get easier and easier. Please contact us through the Contact Page if you need more detailed advice. Jo
Hi Jo,
I was just logging on to see what you had to say about dummies and saw this blog entry. I have just had a case of dummy addiction and you helped me, because you came to my house 4 years ago when I had my daughter and showed me your settling technique which I have now used for my son to get rid of the dummy.
Thanks to you my daughter was great with the dummy, I used it until she was 14 weeks to settle her to sleep, you showed me that just before she fell asleep I should take the dummy out to stop her from sucking it into her deep sleep. Once it was out, she never asked for it again. She would sleep 8-10 hours at night, and then go right back to sleep after her feed without the need for the dummy. I occasionally used the dummy to push her through later and later through the night till she was sleeping through at 14 weeks. At this stage she pushed the dummy out of her mouth, and started to suck her thumb which didn't bother me as she was doing that in the womb and she was so settled from it.
I have just recently had my second child who has been a little more difficult to settle. He was doing really well, started to do 6 hour stretches at night from 4 weeks and would sleep solidly until he woke for a feed. Over the past few weeks he has been sleeping consistently up to 10 hours at night. However getting him back to sleep after the middle of the night feed was very difficult so I started to use the dummy to resettle him and teach him to go right back to sleep after the feed. Over the last week or so he started waking around 10-11pm and I knew he couldn't be hungry, so I started to use the dummy to push him through a little later. In the process we somehow developed a serious dummy addiction. For 5 nights running I was up every 1-2 hours popping the dummy in 4-5 times at a time before he would resettle. He went from sleeping a solid 8-10 hours to be restless all night and I started to get no sleep blocks at all. All this from a child who was already stretching at 4 weeks old.
So yesterday I decided to get rid of the dummy even though he is only 10.5 weeks old. I decided to get rid of the wrap at the same time as I knew it would be hard no matter what. He obviously cried when I put him down without his dummy, so I used the technique you taught me of putting him on his side facing away from me and patting his back to calm him until it is softer and softer and I pull away. I started off firm and holding his arms, then once he was calm softer and less frequent. I have then left him calm on his side to put himself to sleep on his own. Once he has been sound asleep I have put him on his back, which I know is what I have to do for SIDS but its a shame as he is so happy on his side. I have also used white noise to calm him at the same time.
I started during his day sleeps yesterday. The first time it took me 30 mins to get him to sleep, then the next sleep only 6 mins and the best thing is he slept through the 40 min sleep cycle during the day which is the first time in weeks he has not woken at 40 mins on the dot. he did wake and cried for 1 minute but then put himself back to sleep. sheer peace for me.
Last night he was a little more challenging. He fought a bit harder to go to sleep, it took me 32 mins to calm him, but he slept solidly for 6 hours before waking at 12.15pm looking for the dummy. I then stuck with your settling technique and it took me 27 mins to calm him, but he went back to sleep for 3 hours and woke at 3.15am by which time I fed him. He then cried a little when I put him back down but I just had to pat him for about 4 mins before he went back to sleep until 6.30am.
I am thrilled and want to thank you for your help 4 years ago with my daughter. I tried to remember all the things you said about the dummy, about settling and about the patting technique. I personally am not apposed to control crying but as my son is not even 3 months old I didn't want to leave him to cry for hours at this age. I feel confident within a few weeks he will be settling himself nicely to sleep all on his own - dummy free!!
One question - once I have him sleeping nicely in his cot, will it be ok to do the occasional day sleep in his pram if I want to go for a walk, or will that ruin all my hard work? I can't think how else I can get my exercise in at the same time as looking after him and having play dates every afternoon for my daughter after Kindy.
thanks again,
Lee-Anne
ps. I have used your routines on my daughter and they were great and I am now using them for my son. Brilliant!
Hi Jo,
my son is almost turning one. I have dropped the dummy a month ago and it all went pretty easy. Bit of crying but within 2 days 12 minutes of crying was only 1 or 2 minutes. The problem is that now he wakes up at 5am or 5.30 and he used to wake at 6 or 6.30 ( which is still early but sooo much better)
I try to pat him on his bum whilst he is facing the wall but he will start "whispering" mama mama, grab his comforter and play with that, push my hands away, turn the top of his body ( so i am still patting his bottom) and put his hand up in the air to reach for me. After a while he will start to cry and I dont know what to do so i pick him up and start the day.
I try to not give him his bottle till 7 but that can be quit hard, as he is really clingy this time in the morning. I normally put him down again at 9.30 - 10 am and he will sleep for 2 till 3 hours. Which is great but beforehand with the dummy he would sleep longer at night and around 1.30 - 2 hours as a morning sleep. What can i do to settle my son in the morning? He sleeps in a sleeping bag.
Thank you for your time !!
Isabel
Jo,
of course i did jinx myself by saying that he slept for 2 to 3 hrs ... Nope, back to 1.20 to 2 hrs, most days no afternoon nap anymore and still wakes up early... Help ??
Hi Jo,
My son is just 8mths, he is my second. I have been following your routines as I did for my first and he is a good sleeper during the day and has been OK at night. He goes to bed about 6:30pm and I am BF with 3 solids per day (he has 2 day sleeps that range from 1hr-2.5hrs), he used to wake between 3-4am for a BF and then sleep till 7am. However, now at 8mths he is waking and will cry for a good 2-3hrs (anytime from 11:30pm). . I got rid of the dummy about 2mths ago and stopped wrapping at the same time. When I go in he grabs at me and wont stop crying, I made the mistake of picking him up and thats the only time he will stop. I have tried letting him cry but he will go for over 1hr, I'm afraid he is going to wake my almost 4yrold if I let him go longer! Could he be hungry?, is it teething (none yet)?, Should I start to wean? I'm getting pretty sleep deprived and am not sure what to...
Hi,
Wow and here I am trying to force my 3 month old daughter into taking the dummy (which she does rarely but mostly chews on it and gags if I push it in) I had no idea that it can cause such a problem. My daughter however needs to be rocked to sleep and seems to need to be bf between sleep cycles. I think she may be depended on bf to go to sleep and I know I'm at fault as I use feeding to get her to calm down. Also I always find her (during the night and day) chewing on her hands and getting fussy. She seems to do this a lot lately I have no idea what that is about. She sometimes sleeps through the night but she has gotten a lot worse lately waking at night and refusing to settle back to sleep. Getting her to nap during the day is a long rocking/feeding process and then she only sleeps 30-40mins. Being a first time mum is definitely hard, I really have no idea how to help her!
Hi Jo
Firstly, we wanted to thank you for your book, it has been a saviour in 'uncertain times' with our first baby who is now 3.5 months old.
We are in the habit of giving her a cuddle/ rock in our arms before she goes down to sleep (day and night) after she is wrapped, standing next to the cot, there are times when she will fall asleep or be close to sleep in our arms.
Question - should we stop doing this and put her straight into the cot after we wrap her to self settle?
Question - do we leave her if she is calm/ chatting to herself or should we be 'patting' her to sleep before we leave the room?
Hi Joe,
My son is nearly 12 weeks old and is sleeping from 11pm to around 6am at night only stirring once at about 4.30. At that time I put the dummy in and he goes back to sleep. We are having trouble getting him to sleep longer that 45 minutes during his day sleeps. We wrap him and give him a dummy and he has no worries going to sleep but wakes up after one sleep cycle. I have tried taking the dummy away and he just screams. He has never been a great day sleeper, even from when he was born. We started him on a routine at 7 weeks and it seemed to work for about 3 weeks and he was sleeping past the one sleep cycle. I don't know what has changed. Should I be trying to get him to sleep without the wrap and dummy? Any suggestions would be great. Thanks.
Hi Karla, you son is still very young so I would be think it is okay to continue to use the dummy if it is helping with his sleep. The wrap can be used until he starts to roll purposely. Jo
Hi Jo, Can I say that I love your book and it has saved me! Thank you. I refer to it nearly every day! However, I was wondering if I can clarify just one issue.
My 13 week old daughter is a catnapper, and after using your advise, has improved greatly over the last couple of weeks. She is now napping 3 days a day and has a 12 hour sleep at night from 7pm to 7am with dreamfeed at 10.30 pm. I am following your routine and love it.
However, my problem is her day sleeps. She uses a dummy and is able to fall asleep on her own easily at the start of the nap. But, after 1 sleep cycle, she wakes crying because she has lost the dummy. If I am quick enough to return it to her, she goes back to sleep, otherwise she cries and it wide awake and the patting hasn't seemed to be able to get her back to sleep (or if she does, she is awake again in 10 mins). In your book you recommend that the dummy be removed at 4 months.
Would it be worth removing it now (ie at 13 weeks) now in our case to teach her to self settle during the day and avoid any more catnaps?
She seems to be able to resettle really well during her night sleep and does not need the dummy to be placed back, only during her day sleeps. Thanks
Hi Natusa, thanks for your comment and I am pleased you love the book. I think if the dummy is helping your daughter get back to sleep during the day then continue to use it for the time being. But if you really think it is the dummy that is causing her to wake and not just the usual catnapping then yes, remove it and get her to self-settle. Good luck. Jo
Jo, I think you are amazing! Thank you.
There is so much info out there that is anti dummy that it makes things so much more confusing!
Your advice is a blessing. Thank you.
Hi Jo
My baby girl is 4mths and currently has her three naps (as per your book) and is then down for the night anywhere between 7-8pm. The problem is that at 4 weeks she developed a mild case of reflux which thankfully stopped at 9weeks but we had to introduce the dummy during that time and she now relies on it most of the time. The problem is that if it pops out and she is not fully asleep she will cry for the dummy until we pop it back in. this can go on for the duration of her sleeping time (an hour) during the day and at night when we first put her down it can go on for first 2hrs. I want to get rid of this dummy so would you suggest that this age is a good age and should we start during her night sleep or start with the day sleeps? Look forward to hearing from you shortly. Kind regards Lina
Hi Jo,
I stumbled upon your book when my first baby was around 4 months old and it was my bible. The routines and settling technique really worked like a dream for me and our family. I have since recommended your book to all my friends and family with newborn babies.
I now have another newborn who has just turned 4 months old. I have found getting her into a routine to be extremely difficult and she has tended to wake after 20-30 minutes since she was born during the day. Some days she will have a 2-3 hour sleep in the middle of the day so I know she CAN sleep well however, the morning and afternoon sleeps are only ever 40 minutes at the most.
I have tried to resettle her after she wakes after 30 minutes, but it is unrealistic to sit with her crying for up to an hour while my 2 year old daughter listens from the lounge room. If I pick her up, she will sometimes go back a lot quicker but this doesn't always work either and I'm worried she is learing bad habits.
I have also recently taken the dummy and wrap from her. Before this, our days were starting to form a routine and she would self settle herself to sleep most of the time with wrap and dummy. I tried this with my 2 year old at around 4 and a half months old and she found her thumb and has not looked back since!
My newborn however, will not suck her fingers or thumb to help settle and after a week is still struggling to settle without the dummy and wrap.
Any advice for second time Mum's in regards to resettling during the day with toddlers around? And how long can it take for a baby to self settle after dummy and wrap are removed? We are in week 2 now and it's not getting any better! If we nurse her - she will go off like a dream. Otherwise, she gets so worked up for nearly an hour. I'm not sure if I am expecting too much from her as she is only 4 months old.
Thanks!
Hi Jo -
I have been following your book with great success and have a 4 month old who sleeps from 7:30pm - 6:30am with 3 day sleeps (two long, one short). He is currently wrapped and given a dummy to get off to sleep but have noticed recently that he is not spitting his dummy out for his day sleeps and I am having to take it out. He has also just started to roll.
I would like get rid of the dummy and the wrap and would like your advice if I should get rid of them both at the one time (and hope he sucks his fingers) or one at a time.
Thanks
Hi Jo
My 13 week old is an excellent sleeper during the day. Our day starts at 6:30am she's up for 1 1/2 hrs, then sleeps from 8-10:30am. Up for 1 1/2 hrs then sleeps from 12-2pm. Up for 1/2 hrs then sleeps from 3:30-4:30pm and has final feed at 6pm and falls asleep with no problem when put to bed at 6:30. If she catnaps during the day she is super easy to settle (within 2min). However, for the last 14 nites, exactly 45min after going to bed she wakes up crying and it can take up to an hour of patting/shooshing/offering dummy to get her to go to sleep. When she gets really worked up we have to pick her up and pat/shoosh her til she calms down, then we put her back in cot. However, 5-10min later she is crying again. Is this just a phase or are we doing something wrong?
Hi Jo, We have a very determined little 18mth old who didn't actually begin sleeping through the night until she was 14mths (Despite our use of your book and several professionals!) - she started life refusing to nap at all during the day (some days she would sleep 7mins no matter what i did) but slept well at night until 5am. At 14mths after alot of heartache and 3wks of very full on control crying, she starting sleeping through. She has never been dependant on a dummy to go to sleep, but would generally get it at about 5am when she woke for a feed and then refused to go back to sleep. In the 9mths since not having a night feed, she has only slept through to 6am or after a handfull of times. Most of the time she wakes between 5-5:30 and the only way to get her back to sleep is with the dummy. Because she has been such a terrible sleeper, I am hesitant to get tough on her getting the dummy between 5-6am, but wondering if it really is what I should be doing?
Also, at what age/stage would you recommend she go into a bed? We have another bub arriving in 6mths and I wanted to know if I should do it before the bub arrives or when the new bub is 3mths and needing to move from the basinett to the cot?
Hi Jo,
We have a newborn (2.5 weeks old - yes, he's still very little) who came into the world very very alert! He typically only sleeps a max of 90 minutes day or night. These sleep periods are followed by long periods trying to settle his crying (commonly 1.5 hours) and getting him back to sleep after a feed, and can sometimes lead into the next feed time (breastfeed) with him only having had a very short sleep or no sleep at all. We've been advised to stretch out his feeds to every three hours to ensure his food is digested and not causing him difficulty and causing him to wake. This means there is also a lot of attempted settling being done before we can get him close to the three hour feed mark. We have been trying the Babybliss settling technique outlined in your book and also using the approach you suggest for overtired babies (ensuring he is asleep prior to putting him down) but to no avail. We are thinking about using a dummy to stretch him from the time he wakes to the three hour feed mark. Do you have any other suggestions regarding getting him to sleep longer and settle? (note: We wrap him for bed). Of course we realise he is still very little but we are struggling seeing our bub in distress for such long periods.
Thanks for any advice you can offer!!!
Hi Jo, My baby has really bad wind (9 weeks) and finds it so hard to sleep. We went to a sleep school but it didn't help. She only sleeps 40 mins at a time in the day unless in the pram, and needs to be rocked to sleep, and at night needs to sleeep with me to get any sleep. We have tried letting her cry it out, but it doesn't usually work, and she is wrapped tight. She jerks and grunts and whines if she isn't crying, and usually rewakes as soon as we put her in the cot and we need to start settling again. We also follow all the settling techniques. Is anything going to work while she has these tummy issues or do we just have to wait it out? Also, do you ever come to Canberra?
Thanks,
Liz
I have a 13 month old boy who sleeps okay, but continually wakes up at 4:30am. He has a very consistent routine of one sleep during the day of about 2.5 hours; with dinner at 5, bath at 6 and bottle and bed at 6:45. He doesn't have any trouble when I put him in his cot - he settles himself and falls asleep very quickly.
The room is dark, and he does have a dummy.
However, he wakes up at 4:30 and while I know I'm lucky not to experience multiple mid-night wakings that other mums can get, the time is really wearing me down as I work during the day.
I've tried letting him cry it out, but he just gets more upset. I've tried going in and giving him his dummy and while occasionally this gets him back to sleep, more often than not he already has a dummy and just appears to be ready for the day.
So not sure if it's a dummy related issue - I'm at wits end
Hi Jo, we got your book a week ago and is now trying out some of your recommendations. Unfortunately, it seems as if it's more than a sleep problem that we are dealing with - she's (breast)feeding very poorly during daytime and so is on medication for reflux now.
My 19 weeks old baby never really liked the dummy but when I started using Babybliss Settling Technique, I gave her the dummy when she is really distressed while I try to resettle her (initially naps are no longer than 15-25minutes!) but since she has improved a lot (much easier to resettle although I am still patting her until she is asleep), I have taken away the dummy from her. However, I am still using it when I try to settle her when she is cranky in car rides. Do you reckon it will affect any of her sleeps (which still needs improvements!) eventually?
Thanks!!!
what about sucking on the thumb? any adverse effects like the dummy?
Hi Jo,
I am a first time mum and have a 14 week old daughter. Get your book was the best advice I was given when I was pregnant!
I have a great routine with Olivia, she starts her day at 6am, has 2x 2.5-3hr sleeps followed by a short nap, 60mins to 75mins late in the afternoon. She goes down for the night from 6-6.30pm every night and only wakes once at about 12-1am for a feed...
I have been using a dummy.
Just lately I have had to get up to put it back in her mouth as she's been waking when it falls out of her mouth (not used any other time but for bed but day and night) and its driving me nuts.
I decided yesterday, no dummy and had a pretty good day, 20 mins to settle for morning nap waking after 1.30 hrs. 10mins to settle for mid day sleep (3hrs slept with a short resettle half way through) and 5 mins for afternoon (1hr slept). Last night she went down at 6pm and only took 15mins for her to settle...she slept soundly till 12.40 woke for 25mins, she fed an resettled in 5 and slept soundly till 6.15am normally I can be getting up and down putting her dummy in for up to an 1.30 after food...no whinging or thrashing about which upsets me and is the main reason I've used the dummy. Now I am thinking it is because she was tired.
This morning she didn't settle as well but I pushed through and got 1hr but she was exhausted and needed more. I couldn't settle back, so I decided to re read this section again and now I feel that I maybe started too early and should have waited for another couple of weeks. I got her up but she was still tried so I put her back with her dummy. She is sleeping soundly now and cooing away but I am confused and not sure what I should do...
Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
I am a massive fan of your methods, they have instilled get confidence and Olivia is a very happy little baby that rarely ever cries as I believe you have taught me the cues, and that has kept her content.
Hi,
my baby always wakes after 40 mins, so after tying to resettle for half an hour, we give the dummy.Is this ok or should we be trying longer? She often will just lie there and talk to herself, but as soon as the dummy goes in she is off to sleep. She does go initially without it, so we know she can do it....What are yr thoughts?
Thanks
Hi Liz, if that is working then try and just use it for the resettle and not other times. Jo
hi Jo,
I'm wondering what your thoughts are regarding using a dummy during day sleeps and pulling it out for the night sleep? Our 5 month old will not sleep longer than 20mins without her dummy during the day but with the dummy she will sleep 2-3 hours. For her night sleep we use the dummy to settle her and then remove the dummy just before she falls asleep. Her night sleep is from 7pm to 4.30am, we resettle at 4.30am and she will sleep til 7.30am.
I'm worried using the dummy during the day will start to effect her night sleep, or do you think it will be ok to continue using the dummy like this?
Thanks!
Gabby
Hi Gabby, if you can get her to only use it for the day sleeps then I would be okay with that. Good luck! Jo
Hi Jo,
I have recently (5 days ago) taken the dummy off my 7 month old. I was a bit slow in picking up why it was happening (shes my first) but at about 6 months she went from being a great night sleeper to waking at random hours during the night. I finally figured out it was for her dummy (as she isnt fed during the night now) so we have taken it off her and so far it has been successful for night time sleeps (she has slept through 4 of the 5 nights and the 1 day she did wake she cried for an hour but eventually went to sleep). My problem is that she was always a great day sleeper but now without the dummy she isnt. She wakes after 45 minutes and thats after it takes her ages to get to sleep. Shes obviously still tired but refuses to go to sleep. Any suggestions? Is this just a part of the dummy weaning and she will get better in time? She is doing a very interesting tounge/mouth sucking thing we cant quite work out so we thought perhaps it was her teeth (she has 6 teeth and seems to be getting some more) but maybe not?! Also when we took away the dummy I replaced that with a comforter for her which she hasnt entirely taken to but is getting better.
Thanks
Hi Jo
I have an 11 week old who settles really quickly with a dummy, but during the day won't go past 1 sleep cycle, even with the dummy. She has just started missing her night feeds (last feed around 7.30pm and next feed, 6-7am) She wakes 3-4 times over night for her dummy, which I would really like to stop before it becomes more of an issue. She is still wrapped to sleep. What would be the best approach to prolong day sleeps and get rid of the dummy?
Thanks Claire
Hi Jo
My daughter is 4.5 months and the dummy has worked wonderfully until now. I had been dreading the day she would wake up hourly for it praying it would never come, but alas it has arrived! So time to ditch it.
My question is, should I first get her used to sleeping unwrapped (she is in a swaddle at the moment) and then once that is working get rid of the dummy? Or should I ditch the wrap and the dummy together at the same time?? I can imagine if I keep using the dummy once I unwrap her she will knock it out with her hands anyway.
Your advice would be so much appreciated!!
Many thanks
Christine
hi I am interested in this post because on your website you said you don't use control crying but this post suggests this baby had to cry to settle himself as he had no dummy.I am currently battling with going all out & fully using a dummy to settle my 8 month old at night instead of feeding him (sometimes however he can settle himself!!?? now & and again we use the dummy but take it out when he's in a light sleep) or just sitting with him & patting him whilst he cries so he can learn to settle himself. from a tired Amy
Hi Amy, no I don't use controlled crying but that doesn't mean a baby won't cry. But I stay with them and soothe them back to sleep. I never leave a baby to cry on their own especially when getting rid of something like a dummy. In your case I wouldn't be introducing a dummy so late.
Hi Jo,
Our son turns 1 next week and we've been following your routines since discovering your book and website - thanks so much! We have a good routine and he goes to sleep well most nights at 7pm, and his daytime sleeps are pretty good too. Our problem is that he wakes at 4 or 4.30am each morning for a milk feed (doesnt settle without it), then is usually awake for the day at 5am. I don't mind feeding at 4ish, but would love it if he would go back to sleep until 6am.
I have considered putting him to bed a little later (7.30pm?), but what is your experience with later bedtimes? Do you find babies sleep in longer?
Hi Jane, in my experience that doesn't work for babies or young toddlers. Contact me of you would like some advice of things you can try to get him past that 5am wake. Jo
Hi Jo,
My son Adam is 4 months, when he was 4 weeks I was told to give him the dummy by the hospital as he was sick and had to be restricted to very short feeds and they told me the dummy would satisfy his need to suck. I now get up 3-4 times a night, usually I just feed him so he goes back to sleep but I think he just wants something to suck on to sleep. Because of this is it best that I just go cold turkey on the dummy and comfort him to sleep in his cot? Or should I start by removing it for day time sleeps first? I only give him the dummy for sleep times or when we are in the car (can't stand the screaming while I drive) I don't want to start rocking him to sleep as I did that with my other son and it was hell to get him to go to sleep on his own. With a 2 year old as well I am getting so tired and I desperatly need a proper nights sleep.
Thank you
Kristy, you need to contact me through the contact page and we can organise some advice that way. Thanks,
Jo
Hi Jo,
My baby is 5 and a half months old and has suffered from reflux from early on and is still on medication which is helping somewhat. He is still fairly light in weight as he throws up alot, and is currently a bit under 6.5kg. He has become quite reliant on his dummy, both to soothe him to sleep and to settle him in the day when his reflux is causing him distress. I am worried that the dummy is starting to cause more wake-ups at night (we still feed him once in middle of night and then at 5am) but I am not sure whether getting rid of it is the right thing to do as it seems to help him so much in the day with his reflux? He is a fairly good sleeper for a reflux bub but I can't seem to get him to sleep past 5am which is putting all his other day sleeps out. Any advice much appreciated
Hi Michelle, you will need to contact me directly through the contact page and then we can arrange some advice for you and your baby. Jo
Hi Jo
My baby will be 5 months old next week and has used a dummy since 3 weeks old due to bad colic. She has now started to wake like the other babies above, and needs her dummy to settle again. The problem we have is that she still naps on us during the daytime. We are trying to sort this out by getting into a routine of her napping at the same time every day, and then I plan to put her in the cot. Should I wait to take away the dummies until we have sorted the cot out, or just go for it now? I'm so worried about the crying thing- I can't stand to hear it and so far haven't managed to let her cry for long. Help!
Unfortunately Clare there will be some crying when you take away the dummy so I would maybe do the cot first and then once that is sorted then get rid of the dummy. Good luck.
Hi Jo
My little boy is 5 months and has had a dummy almost all of his life I have started with your technique to get rid of the wrap and have put him in a sleeping bag last night was the first night I have not put him to bed with us , however I was up every hour on the hour after 2am resettling should I wait until I have sorted the wrap to remove the dummy or do both at once?
I think doing both at once should be okay. You will have a couple of hairy nights then things should get better quite quickly. Good luck!
Hi Jo,
I fell across your website today and it seems to be more my "style" rather than what I have been told to do or have read in other books. My baby is 12 weeks old and is currently following a routine of sleep, feed, play, sleep during the day which is roughly a 3 hour cycle, however sometimes he will only sleep for 45mins to an hour during the day.
My concern is that when I pat him to sleep in his bed, he isn't stopping crying and it just seems to escalate. He gets very worked up and sweats A LOT! I am not sure how long I should allow this to go on. I want to help him settle himself to sleep, but I don't want to be misreading his cries in case he is screaming for a reason other than fighting sleep.
I apologise if this info is in your book, but I am going to go to the shops tomorrow to see if they have it, in the hope I can start reading it soon.
Thanks
Aimee
Hi Aimee, maybe try feeding him closer to when he goes to bed so he is nice and full. You will find a lot of this in my book and if you need extra help you can contact me through the Contact Page to get some extra advice. Jo
Thanks heaps Jo, I will give that a go tomorrow
Aimee
Hi Jo
I have a 23 month old who is still using a dummy to sleep. He is sleeping through the night easily, from 7pm to between 7-8am and having a 2-3 hour nap during the middle of the day. He has always been a great sleeper, but now I think we should try and remove the dummy from his routine. We used your babybliss technique from when he was newborn and it worked perfectly. However, we haven't been successful with removing the dummy. Any suggestions?
Thanks,
Jodie
Hi, My 9 month old son uses a dummy to sleep - he sleeps all night (7pm-6am) 95% of the time, and he can go off without it in as we generally don't go back in to replace it if he's spat it out.
As its not such an issue should we leave it until it is one to get rid of, or do it now? we have no real settling technique other than a little pick up, until quiet and then back into bed?
Hi Jo,
I have an 11 mth old girl who used to be a good sleeper until about 8-9mths when everything changed. She has a dummy and sometimes at night if she wakes we give her back the dummy and she will fall asleep however other times she wont and will cry and cry until we give her a bottle, this usually happens 2-3 times a week and pretty much everynight she will wake at least once and need re-settling. Do you think the dummy is the problem? why does she still need night feeds every few nights? What am I doing wrong? I just want a good nights sleep.
Hi Jo,
My baby is almost 5 months old. I have been using gradual withdrawal of the dummy and she now settles for most sleeps without the dummy. She is sleeping well at night, we leave her music on low and she manages to resettle herself (she only wakes for one feed). In the day maybe one in five sleeps she resettles herself (we use music in the day too) all others I usually go into her room pop in the dummy and she goes back to sleep (mostly). I am wondering if it is OK to continue like this, or I should start trying to resettle her without the dummy in the day. I tried for about five minutes today and I could not calm her with patting and shushing, when I picked her up she calmed, but she screamed as soon as I put her down. She calmed with the dummy and I tried to pull it out, but she objected again. I leave her with her eyes open with the dummy in her mouth and she goes back to sleep. For resettling I find while I am in the room she doesn't seem to want to close her eyes.
Thanks!
Sara
Hi Jo,
My 6 month old is dummy dependant. She sleeps in our room and is in a zip us wrap. We would like to;
* take the dummy away (as she wakes for it every 3-4 hrs & will not go to sleep without it/crying so much she starts to choke),
* take her out of the wrap and into a sleeping bag (tried this but she is hard to settle/hands waving around/playing with sheets etc
* move her to her own room
* cut down the night feeds ( I usually do 1-2 feeds between 12-6 am) she gets at
least 6 feeds plus solids in a 24 hr period. I'm now trying giving her a sippy cup of water in the cotat night instead of taking her out for a feed..she hates this.
These are all BIG changes for her. I'm happy to have 3 days with zero sleep whilst i pat her back to sleep. My question is: Do you advise doing all this at once, or gradually? Any other advice you could give this desperate and clueless mum?
Thanks in advance
Hi Georgie, there is a lot you are trying to do so please contact me through the contact page and I can send you the list of all our services and costs. Jo
Hi jo, my nearly 4 months old son uses a dummy for his daytime naps, someimes he sleeps longer if i leave it in, but sometimes when he wakes after 40 minutes i just go back in and give the dummy back..Should i just wait to see if he can resettle himself without it? i don't really want him to cry as it might upsets him so much than he wouldn't go back to sleep...? He goes down for the night with dummy but never needing it during the night when wakes briefly or after his feed. I'm keen to get rid of the dummy though..
I would definitely wait to see if he can do it on his own. Jo
Hi Jo, I have a nearly 9 month old boy, he settles himself to sleep every single time, he has 2 sleeps during the day for about 2 hours each and also a small nap in the afternoon, his routine is consistant, bedtimes are always the same time and done the same way, we just have a little problem and that is that he does not sleep for longer than 4 hours at night and when he wakes he is looking for a feed so I breastfeed him and he goes straight back to sleep.. how could I get my little one to sleep for more than 4 hours at a time without waking? He is on 3 meals a day and still breastfed during the day if I can get him to stay focused for long enough to feed properly! I would love to hear from you as even though I love feeding my son I think it is time I got a full nights sleep, it's nearly been 9 months.. thank you kindly..
Hi Kellie, please contact me through the contact page and I can send you the list of our services and costs. Thanks, Jo
Hi Jo,
Our little boy is 4.5 months old and reliant on his dummy to get to sleep. We are wanting to get rid of it as it is becoming a problem at night. He is also still swaddled to go to sleep, which he needs otherwise he rubs his face with his hands, knocking his dummy out. Should we get rid of the dummy first (using your settling techniques) and then stop the swaddling later or should we do it at the same time?
Thanks,
Kylie.
Hi, my 14 week old little girl doesn't care to be wrapped and sleeps all night from 7pm to 6-7am without a hitch but her day time naps are becomming increasingly disrupted as I am having to keep putting her dummy back in. She continuously pulls the dummy out with her hands when she stirs during a nap also. Is she too young to expect her to go without the dummy yet or would it be ok to ditch the dummy now? Thanks
Hi Jo,
My 11.5 month old is a good day sleeper. I met you at the Sydney baby and toddler show last year (2011) and you gave me the 9 - 12 months routine and it worked so well after the first 2 days and nights.
however I have a probelme with my son having a dummy. he goes down at night between 7pm - 7:30pm and then at 1am he wakes crying for his dummy. He sits up in the cot with his eyes shut or with his head on the mattress and cries until I go in and give him his dummy. He can do this one more time in the night but not that often. It makes me tired and I want to stop this waking...otherwise he would sleep through the night.
I have another baby on the way due in April 2012 and would like to have my son's sleeping sprted before the new baby arrives.
What do you suggest to do?
Many thanks
Hi Jo,
My daughter is 6 1/2 months old now, and rely's on her dummy to sleep at night and nap.
I am trying to wean her off the dummy with NO luck. She becomes hysterical and I find it very difficult to soothe her back to sleep or nap. I am waking at all sorts or hours in the night to put the dummy back in, im so desperate for sleep! I have no idea how to soothe her to sleep with out it....She will even suck on my finger if it gets close enough....!!
I have found recently I can pull the dummy out of her mouth about 10-15 minutes into her sleep, and she will stay asleep for a few hours. But thats it. And thats her evening sleeping cycle, until I get up to put the dummy back in. I no longer breastfeed her at night and she's content with that.
I really just want to help her and i sleep more...
Thanks
Hi Jo,
My son is 5 months old and we have just started to get rid of his dummy. If I pat him until he is calm will that not then lead to another dependency on the patting? Am committed to getting rid of the dummy and hoping that will help his day sleeps go longer than 40mins. We have also just stopped wrapping though it seems to be the dummy causing the problem.
Many thanks,
Ali
Hi Jo.
Please help!! My nearly 2year old daughter will not sleep in her toddler bed unless I cuddle her to sleep and then she wakes every 2-3 hours. She also has a dummy constantly which she screams the house down each time I remove it and she also pulls my hair as a comforter to sleep - which also is driving me crazy. She constantly wakes my 3.5year old up which is so unfair. We have stairs up to the children's room and twice now I have fallen in the middle of the night and broken my sacrum and my toe. Help!!!!
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
PLease contact us through the contact page and we can help you sort your daughter's sleep out.
Jo
Hi Jo,
my baby is only 6 weeks old but i really want to take the dummy off her as she is very dependant on it and wakes when it falls out during the day but not so much during the night. i have just introduced a soft toy to try and use as a comforter so i can swap for the dummy.
is it too young to take the dummy? as she has had it since she was 2 days old.
Thanks
Jodie
I think she is a bit young but only use it when you have to - not all the time. Jo
Hi Jo,
Love the book! Regularly using the resettle technique for daytime catnapping!! We are psyching ourselves up to get rid of the dummy and wrap for our 5 month old son( dummy adfiction). Someone previously asked but I didn't see an answer-- by patting are you just substituting one "addiction" for another?? Everyone keeps telling me to learn to self settle I can't be in with him...
Be
Hi Be, the patting is an interim tool donut is only used for a short time and you keep reducing your intervention as your baby gets used to not using the dummy. Context us if you need some extra help. Jo
Hi Jo
My son is 12 weeks old and I am trying to take the dummy off him as he is only sleeping one sleep cycle in the day and I am forever running back and forth to put the dummy back in. He also wakes many times in the night but when I feed him it is very small and he falls asleep on the breast.
So far he is taking almost 2 hours to settle and then waking after one sleep cycle and crying for the same amount of time.
Is this okay to let him do? Will he ever learn self settling? I am so close to giving in!
Hi Sophie,
Hang in there! It does get better. Send us am email if you need some extra support and help. Jo
Hi Jo,
I have a 22 month old and we have just taken her dummy from her 2 weeks ago (a ceremony was done and she threw it in the bin herself). The trouble I'm having is she's got herself into the habit that every time I put her in her cot for a sleep (day sleep or night sleep) she says "no" and runs to the end of her cot and either kicks her legs out between the rails or curls into a ball and I have to console her for 5-10 minutes before she settles down. I've started patting her back and tellling her the fun things we're going to do after she wakes up and sometimes that works but I just don't know that she will get out of this habit. I don't want to give the dummy back because we've worked so hard to get rid of it but I'm not sure she's ready to give it up. No-one else can put her down now except me, anyone could do it before! We're expecting in 6 months and I want it gone before the next one comes along so I really want to stick it out.
I've also thought about putting her in a bed to break her habit, but I don't want to do too many new things at once. Help!
Hi Jo
We have a 4 month old with severe reflux and appears to be beginning to teeth. He is waking roughly every half hour every night yet will wake only every hour during the day. He uses a dummy still to settle. My wife is just about at her wits end. Is it time to brace ourselves and try to get rid of the dummy?
Secondly would you. Be willing to do an in home visit in Kalgoorlie WA? At this point money is no object we just need sleep.
Thanks
Hi Jo,
Thank you SOOOO much !! Our 4 month old was waking anywhere from every half hour to every 2 hours every night for the past month . I was so hesitant to get rid of the dummy bug after a night of not sleeping last Thursday I was at my wits end ! We used your technique from your baby bliss book and finally got rid of the dummy. I was do scared about how he would react but the first night it took 40 minutes to settle and he slept 5 hours straight. Second night 20 min and slept 9 hours!!!! Last night (night 4) he took 5 min to settle and slept all night ! We will be forever grateful. Thankyou for what you do and for your gentle baby and parent friendly techniques !!!!!
Much love
Ellen xxx