The effects of your baby not sleeping: when it’s time to do something about it

When your baby’s not sleeping, it can be incredibly tough. Some people who don’t have babies (or have forgotten) say, “Well, I’m tired too – I was out til midnight last night,” or something equally unhelpful. It’s not the same. Fatigue from a baby not sleeping is unrelenting and has a huge impact. Today I want to talk about some of the effects of baby not sleeping.

The effects on you of your baby not sleeping

Depression

When you haven’t slept, it can make you feel terrible mentally as well as physically. After having a baby, you are physically quite tired – you just produced a whole new person – but the mental toll can be significant. If you think you might be suffering from postnatal depression, it’s important to talk to your doctor or a maternal child health nurse. You can get help.

Even if you are not suffering from the clinically defined depression, when you are tired, you can just feel incredibly low. One mother I helped told me how she would sometimes lie down in the hall outside her baby’s room and sob. She just didn’t have the energy to try and settle her baby one more time. Sadly, this level of sadness can be quite common when you are getting no sleep or interrupted sleep.

Irritability

We’re all conditioned to expect that having a baby should be a time of great joy and you should feel elated. When you’re tired, it’s hard to muster the enthusiasm. Snapping at your partner or family is incredibly common. You just don’t have the reserves left to be civil.

Stress

If you have had no sleep, of course you’re going to feel stressed. When your baby won’t sleep, you’re worried about them – what is it doing to their development? What are the long term effects? Will this sleeplessness go on forever? Who wouldn’t be stressed?

Decreased reflexes

It’s not just your mood which is altered when you’re tired. It’s estimated that a driver who has been awake for 17 hours has a driving ability similar to someone with a blood alcohol level of 0.05, and after 21 hours, similar to 0.15. In fact, fatigue is one of the leading causes of car accidents. I’ve lost count of the number of mothers who’ve told me they’ve had a bingle or a serious car accident due to fatigue.

Compromised immunity and being run down

The link between sleep and our immune system is not fully understood but it is known that our T-cell count goes down when we’re tired and T-cells are crucial to our immune system. Lots of mothers have told me that feel physically terrible when they’re tired and little things seem to take longer to get better or heal.

Weight gain

At the one time you really want to be losing those baby kilos, fatigue is reducing your body’s ability to get rid of fat. Your body doesn’t metabolise food in the same way when you are tired and you end up craving sugary treats.

The effects on baby of your baby not sleeping

Recent research suggests that there are some significant effects on baby if they don’t get the sleep they need. It’s during sleep that babies’ brains develop some of their most important skills like linking things between the brain hemispheres – crucial steps to making connections and understanding relationships in the world. Like us, if babies are tired, they can lack coordination, making them more prone to bumps around the house.

There is also evidence to suggest that a baby not sleeping can be linked to obesity, diabetes, and heart disease later in life.

Is it time to do something about it?

I know that when your baby won’t sleep, you feel terrible and as I’ve outlined here, the science is also clear. Unfortunately, when you feel that bad, it’s often the worst time to suggest that you do something about it. It’s a vicious circle. I believe that there are gentle, effective techniques you can use to get your baby sleeping more easily and for longer, and get the whole family sleeping better. I really want to encourage you to persevere. Ask for help from your family or partner to get a couple of good nights’ sleep or some decent sized day sleeps for you and then see what you can do to tackle the sleep issues that you are facing. Even though it is incredibly hard, it is worth continuing to try to get your baby sleeping better. It will make you feel better and help your baby.

I really believe that if mothers trust their intuition and have helpful facts and techniques, they can improve their baby’s sleep.

All the best

Jo

PS: Sometimes people who haven’t been through it don’t understand what it’s like. I think it’s important that people understand and support mothers who are dealing with serious fatigue so why not share this blog on social media to get the word out?